Jumat, Oktober 25, 2013 Dead-Robot

Dear God,

I am just a Hoping-Robot. God created me. I got one heart and a lot of memory. I live from love-energy, someone charge me. My mission is simply, take care one unstable-person. God choose me to take her care. I am here to teach her how the love is works. But she's learned me instead. She's learn me how to smile. She's hold my hand when I'm lost. She's make me laugh. She's always on my side wherever I want. She's cured me with her hug when I'm blue. All was never had this so much fun. But it was. Last day I'm failed on mission. I got crash. My leg cannot be walk again, my hand was no power to raise anymore. My memory was full of what her ever do to me and never be rewrite by anything. I lie down on the ground, but my eyes just an ocean now, drawn by my tears that she made. Dream the past is not good, it's just make it worst, you don't wanna wake, damn.. the worst illusion. I swear you just blame your self why it's happen if you're me. I'm hoping for more life to prove that I could be better, uh I'm begging, but negative. Disconnected from the single server. I have no other chance to do it. It's my last life. Why you give me just one heart, God? When it's happen, i realize that something was wrong on the program. Something wrong with I am. I'm a broken robot, fool and too young. I need a miracle now. I need more time. God, I really need time machine to fix it. Restore all condition from the backup. She's the only person can do it, but she's gone. Please give me life once again, God. I swear I'll be better for her. I could be fix the program. I will add some new method and remove wrong variable on it. The program will be mature and more gentle from the last version. It'll make her happier. This time, she's can be fly like a bird. I just there and catch her when she's fall. I Swear, the program will be work. Because I still feel the warm energy from her last hold hand. My sensor still respond electrostatic signal from her eyes. My record system still hear the heart beat. I cried i will be better, God. I swear it again. I knew she's wrong. She's lie to me. She's need me. I knew she's love me, God. But... if she's not, i never want she's love me full like i did. I just wanna to take care her by my side. Like i did, like we did. Like a previous condition. Please miracle come to me... please Mrs. Mission comeback... wake me up when it's happen..


Hoping-Robot on his last power

Selasa, Agustus 13, 2013 Patah

Hari ini sebuah kejadian telah menyobek hati. Sesuatu berbentuk panjang dan runcing, patah di dalam sini. Ia meretas kepala. Tertanam di setiap sudut arteri. Oh Tuhan jantungku berhenti. Kini tidak ada aliran apapun dalam balutan urat urat berdarah. Jauh berbeda sesaat sebelum melakukannya. Keinginan itu telah membunuh dirinya sendiri.

Aku memegang kristal yang membeku bersama dinginnya tangan ini. Aku beku dihadapannya Tuhan. Aku membuatnya dari serpihan serpihan hati yang halus. Kurekatkan dari tiap kali melakukan sesuatu yang membuatku bahagia. Seperti saat tiap kali aku menunggunya sunyi di tengah jalan, tiap butir keringat yang menetes di tanah, tiap hujan yang terhangatkan oleh pelukan keajaiban. Maka aku akan membentuknya setelah itu di dalam mimpiku Tuhan. Bahkan benda itu kini sudah memiliki nama. Sengaja aku simpan dan kujaga sejak lama.

Hari ini aku sempat berkeringat. Aku takut melihat wajahnya Tuhan. Tubuhku menghangat sendiri. Jantungku.. entahlah aku tidak mengerti mengapa semua ini. Ya atau tidak. Seperti membayangi fikiranku. Aku tarik dalam dalam nafas besar itu. Berhembus pelan. Tertahan sebagian. Aku takut, aku hanya punya satu.

Lalu aku berikan benda itu kepadanya. Tidak bisa kau bayangkan rasanya. Benda itu jatuh! Jatuh berkeping keping lagi Tuhan. Tangisanku pecah menjerit saat menghadap ke sudut kosong. Suaranya sudah tidak terdengar lagi. Sebuah genggaman kecil tapi lukaku tidak berhenti sampai disitu. Ia tumbuh di fikiranku. Suatu hari ia akan percaya hanya ada satu namanya yang aku tunggu untuk itu. Ia akan tahu rasanya kerumitan perasaan ini. Mungkin akan aku rangkai lagi untuknya .. tapi kepedihan ini tidak akan berhenti sebelum aku mati.